beth0329

This is really really good! Pastor showed it a few weeks ago.



Shalom

Wow, I can't believe my last post was June 12th and it's June 24. Well, I am now officially in Modesto and into my new place. 512 Vine St. Crazy, right? No job yet but I know that will come soon. Please join me in praying for the right one! I have 3 housemates, Stephanie lives downstairs with me and Abby and Patty live upstairs. Next month Sara Jane will be moving in downstairs and then there's a couple girls who are considering moving in so we'll see who gets the last room. And then today Cole is moving in with the 2 guys at 511 so that's exciting. I'm getting to know all of them, plus attending many meetings where I get to know the folks in Modesto who are doing God's work which I really enjoy. Today I went to a CMN (City Ministry Network) and met this really cool guy, John Sanders who is a pastor to the homeless, literally. Their church is in the park. Plus, he has a ministry to those folks in prison, plus a mentor program for men and women coming out of jail so I'm hoping to do that. We'll see what else God is leading me towards.

I finally uploaded a bunch of pictures so I think I'm going to share them here. So, enjoy!

( Pictures. )

Shalom.

Today was a weird day.

My mom had to leave our dog Mocha at the pound today. She loves to chew up things and last week before my mom came to visit me here in Fresno my mom had taken a strip of cloth from some fuzzy scarves that she was making and tied a few knots in it to give to our other dog, Shadow. Shadow loves to play tug of war with those things but unfortunately, Mocha loves to chew on them. Actually, she loves to chew on anything. We got them some tennis balls and Mocha would literally chew at the fuzzy stuff on those balls till they were hairless. So, anyways Mocha got a hold of the tug toy my mom gave to Shadow and started chewing on it and ended up literally eating it. I don't really know how that happened or why but she started puking and acting really lethargic. When she came to visit me on Thurs. she was actually a little worried that she'd go home to find a dead dog but when she got home she seemed a little better but she wasn't eating and wasn't really drinking a lot either. I guess in the past couple of days she's even been puking up blood, probably because that fabric was tearing up her intestines. My mom tried all sorts of remedies to get her to puke it all up but nothing was working. I guess my mom was so worried today about her that she left work early and ended up calling some vets. Just a visit and an x-ray was going to cost $200. So, she finally decided (probably after a lot of tears) to take her to the pound to have her put down. They said that their vet is going to take a look at her and if it looks like they can fix whatever is wrong they will but if it doesn't look like they can then they'll put her down. I don't really want to talk anymore about it so if anyone is reading this who talks to me on a consistent bases, especially in person or on the phone please don't ask me about it or talk about it. She was mostly my dog.


Mocha

Anyways, I've got my financial aid all figured out thankfully. I am going to be taking 10 units, that's 3, 3 unit classes and 1, 1 unit class. I only needed 1 3 unit class but then I wouldn't have been able to get financial aid at all so I'm taking a water aerobics class, a women's studies class and an african american studies class, plus the environmental health class I have to take. It shouldn't be too bad, I hope.

Ok, that's enough for now.

So, I have a few minutes that I don't really need to be doing anything that's really important so I'm going to take this opportunity to write down a few thoughts.

My 40 hour weekends are over! That's a definite plus. On Friday when I went to the office to get the house key for my client my boss said that she had already found someone to take my place and that I could work on Sat. and Sun. morning for the client I took care of last week for a couple of days. But, I am hoping to get the weekend off. My friend Coco had a baby about 2 months ago. He was born with Vater Syndrome which is a rare syndrome and there still not sure what causes it. After some research it appears to be genetic but many babies are born with Vaters from diabetic mothers. This syndrome is also know as Vacterl association and Vacterl is an acronym for V-vertebral anomalies A- anal atresia C-cardiovascular anomalies T-tracheoesophageal fistula E- esophageal atresia R-renal (kidney) anomalies. My friend's baby, Brayden suffers from cardiovascular anomalies, he has a hole in his heart, anal atresia, he was born without an anus. And he suffers from renal anomalies because his urninary plumbing isn't all correct so his urine backs up into his kidneys causing massive urinary tract infections. About 2 or 3 weeks ago I got to go and visit him for the very first time. He's a gorgeous little baby. He seemed really fine to me, he wasn't too tiny and he was really cute. He has a colostomy bag that is attached to his little side since he doesn't have an anus. Because he can't expel gas by himself his mom has to help him by letting the air out of his colostomy bag. It's quite ingenious. But, of course while I was there I got a picture of him so here is little baby BRAYDEN!
( Beautiful Baby Brayden )
And now this beautiful baby is dying. He is now non-responsive and it appears that there's some neurological issues going on. He and his family are at the Oakland hospital. Both his mom and grandma are not doing well. I spoke to Terri (his grandma) last night and she said, "I wish this would have never happened." I am praying that whatever happens (whether God heals him here on Earth or takes him home) that they will see His plan in this. He is a mighty God and it would be easy to blame Him for taking this baby out of this world but as I see it, it's a blessing. He had a lot of issues and would have spent many many months in hospitals...but I also know that if God decides to heal his little body right here on Earth, then He can do that too and Brayden will be able to do just fine going through surgeries (if need be).

I just hope I can make it home next weekend! For those of you who believe in the power of prayer- Please pray for this family!

Shalom.

Wow, I haven't written anything in awhile, which is a bad thing because that means this entry might be quite long.

I've finished 2 books, both very good. The first was I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou. It's her autobiography of her childhood. Very inspiring and I realized how little I really knew about her. But the one thing that I was looking forward to it while I was reading this book was to find out why the caged bird sings and she never even mentions it but I thought she had written a poem about it so I looked it up online and here it is;

The free bird leaps
on the back of the win
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and is tune is heard
on the distant hill for the caged bird
sings of freedom

The free bird thinks of another breeze
an the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Wow, right? That's powerful. Maya Angelou is a black woman who grew up in the deep South with a Godly grandmother, a crippled uncle and her beloved brother. But her childhood was soo much more and little did I know that her life as a child awed me at one point and made me want to cry at others. I love to choose quotes that really affected me from books so I'll share a couple with you and then you must read it!

"I couldn't understand whites and where they got the right to spend money so lavishly. Of course, i know God was white too, but no one could have made me believe he was prejudiced."

"Without willing it, I had gone from being ignorant of being ignorant to being aware of being aware. And the worst part of my awareness was that I didn't know what I was aware of."

I also finished Howard Zinn's A young people's history of the United States. Awesome book! It really reminded me of reading "Lies my teacher told me" by James W. Loewen. Zinn writes history from the perspective of the downtrodden, outcast, immigrant, factory worker, the least of these.
"Imagine the American people united for the first time in a movement for fundamental change. Imagine society's power taken away from the giant corporations, the military, adn the politicians who answer to corporate and military interests...
Two forces are now rushing toward the future. One wears a spendid uniform. It is the "official" past, with all its violence, war, prejudices against those who are different, hoarding of the good earth's wealth by the few, and political power in the hands of liars and murderers.
The other force is ragged but inspired. IT is the "people's" past, with its history of resistance, civil disobedience against the military machine, protests against racism, multiculturalism, and growing anger against endless wars."
- From Ch. 14, "Rise like Lions"

I was really affected by the fact that the church doesn't seem to always play a very big or important part in our history. We're to be world changers but if we're not in the world then we're definitely not changing it. In the first chapter named, "Class Struggle" Zinn quotes a songwriter, "whose funny, biting, and inspiring songs made him a legend." And he went on to quote one of his songs, "The Preacher and the Slave"
'Long-haired preachers come out every night,
Try to tell you what's wrong and what's right;
But when asked how 'bout something to eat
They will answer with voices so sweet:
- You will eat, bye and bye,
- In that glorious land above the sky;
- Work and pray, live on hay,
-You'll get pie in the sky when you die.

This makes me want to cry, from conviction and anger. How, as christians, can we let homeless people or friends or the person at your church come to us saying they need something and all we say is, "Just wait it out, this ole life will be over soon" or, "Well, i'll just pray for you sister/brother." Ridiculous. ACT! That's what Jesus did.

Other than reading I've been really lazy with my school work. I just seriously haven't been wanting to do any school work. Actually, Candy and I have been talking a lot about grabbing our clothes and any credit cards we have and heading to Mexico, which ultimately is only about 6-8 hours from here. We both feel like we just can't concentrate, or don't want to. So, I'm really trying to get out of that funk. The semester is almost over, gotta keep telling myself that.

The other night Candy and I were so bored and it was only like 7.30 that we sat around and tried to think of something to do. At one point Candy was like, "search google for night clubs." Soon we realized that it was a Monday night and only losers go to night clubs at that hour. Then we thought about going to the movies but for some reason we dumped that idea and then Candy brought back up the night club idea and started combing my hair and before I knew it she had some funky do going on and we had started making up our own tunes when our friend Cat walks by and our door is open. All she can do is walk in and laugh at us. So she hung around for a little while, then another friend stopped by. Finally, my hair was silky smooth from all the combing and Candy and I were hungry so we ended up getting nachos and watching TV...then feeling humongously full!

So, since you actually read this whole entry I'll reward you with some pictures from the night.

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PS: I've deleted my messenger from my desk top and I won't be using it until I don't know when. So, if you would like to talk please MySpace, Facebook or e-mail me. And if you'd like to know why I'm not using my messenger feel free to ask.

Blesssings

On Tuesday Candy and I were really just not wanting to do any school work (which has become a normal thing lately) and I remembered that a couple of weeks ago while Roxie and I were going to the library Roxie pointed out a really nice park about 15 min. away from campus. I am really infatuated with parks and their beauty and so is Candy. So, I told Candy I wanted to take her somewhere so I grab my camera and we jump into the car and I took her to this park. It was really really big and we just walked around and took some pictures. I hope to go there sometime soon just to have some quiet time. It was really nice, so here's some pictures of our fun. Enjoy. 

My birthday was on Saturday, March 29th. My mom and I headed to northern CA on Friday afternoon. Let me just quickly tell you why northern CA is so very important and special to me. Two years ago, summer 06 I was planning on going to Guatemala on a mission trip with IV. By June I was completely funded and I was leaving in July. My old pastor Nick and his wife had moved to Redding earlier that year and we had been really close. He had been my pastor since I was 12 and I spent many a summer at their home. So, they invited me to come up for a week and perform a few songs in sign language at their new church, which they would just go on and on about. And since I was going on a mission trip they also told me I could do a short spiel about Guatemala and ask for prayer supporters.
I end up going to this church; a small building but an amazing group of people. I literally stood infront of that small church of about 40 people at the time, my knees shaking infront of these big bad biker guys and their wives, signed my first song and saw them all in tears. It was amazing and I ended up leaving that day with $700 to buy personal necessities for Guatemala!
The day I was there was also Father's Day and I ended up signing a song by Big and Rich (a secular country group) called "Live this life" and a part of it talks about a girl in a wheelchair who is ignored by people but she spreads her little wings and flies home. One of the main men of the church, an elder, named Don was really touched by the song and I found out that his daughter (in her mid-30s) had been diagnosed with cancer and spent many months in a wheel chair. When we came back that night she had passed away and I ended up coming back a week later to perform that song during her funeral. That is how fast I became family in that church. They all fell in love with me and I fell in love with them, especially the pastor and his wife, Paul and Shelley. I could go on and on about all of them!
But, since that would take hours, I'll just say that they threw me a BBQ birthday party the day of my birthday and here's some pictures of the day! It was a blast!!






Blessings.

Here's my pre-birthday celebration with Daniel. It's just a couple of pictures but we had yummy spaghetti, amazing conversation and beautiful flowers for me :)

Ohh, and I got a new hair cut so just compare these pictures with my Easter pictures. It's not a drastic change but you might be able to tell if you're observant.


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And now I'm leaving for Northern California to visit my church family and spend my birthday with them. I seriously cannot wait. I need to get away and be with people who truly love and care about me. I know there's people like that here but it's just different up there, it's like I'm at home after being away for a really long time when I get there. Cannot wait.

Blessings

YAY. I just figured out how to insert pictures in my entries. YES! I'll add more later but I love this picture. It's my "I LOVE YOU" hand pushed into the snow. Beautiful.