beth0329

So, after having a conversation on Thursday night with Candy about this subject and then just having Rosanna admit that she and Jeff are officially dating I knew it was time to write this post.

Unfortunately, I haven't read many books, christian or not, on this subject so I hope I can make some sense in this post. I have thought about it a lot but I have this feeling I may not make complete sense.

What is the difference between dating and courtship, let me try to define the 2 terms in how I see them.

DATING: Dating is what the world does. You find someone attractive (sometimes that means physical, mental or has lots of resources, ie. money, car, house, etc.) so you begin the flirting stage, sometimes that's months, could be weeks and sometimes even minutes, and this stage consists of talking, lots of body language, kind of sizing one another up. From there something is either said or done to promote the flirting to dating. The promotion could be a kiss, an event or 1 party just asking or stating that "this" has become a dating relationship. Candy and I talked about this on Fri. pertaining to a friend of mine who stated that he didn't know if he could find a woman who could understand and want to live like he does and I told Candy that I knew that although I completely understand the way he wants to live and could and wants to live that way that I was probably not on his radar and I don't understand how I'm supposed to be, without having to pursue him myself. In this dating arena, girls know how to put themselves on the radar without saying, "LOOK AT ME, PICK ME. I WANT YOU." And we also talked about how when you date it's much easier to indulge in sexual behavior (especially compared to courting). When you date, like most people date, a guy and a girl, alone normally, it's very easy to hold hands, cuddle, make out, etc. Now I'm not saying those things are necessarily wrong, although that could be arguable but I think we can all agree that when you are alone with someone that you find incredibly attractive and they're obviously with you, so they must find something good about you and the lights are dim, something is most likely and more common to happen. And most people want to date. We want to flirt and go through that whole process but it also seems to find you in a lot of frustration and sometimes pain.

COURTSHIP: Courting is a lost art. But something that I plan on doing. I already messed up with my first relationship that I was in so when God plans on sending another one my way I am hoping to do it His way and not mine.
Courting means friendship, in my opinion. Candy and I have had lots of conversations about this, without the usage of the word 'courting.' We both desire to just be friends with a guy and then it to slowly move into something more serious and that's exactly what I would say courting is. It's a much slower process than dating, although it does consist of dates....that look much different than your typical "flirting-dating" scene. It's more friendly; you both get to know one another, around others, in lots of different circumstances and events. There's nothing to prove and no pressure or stress to deliver.

As a Christian it's so easy to let your feelings lead the way, but feelings change every minute, sometimes every second and I am continually reminded to give over my feelings to God and let Him deal with them because if I live off how I feel I'd be in a mess!

My dinner with the pastor and his family in town went soo good!! I am super excited. I got there a little late because I didn't realize it was raining so hard and I'd never been there but I finally found there place and this was actually the first time I formally met his wife, her name is Annette and she's super sweet. She's pregnant which is exciting because if I end up working at the church then I get to be a part of the new babies life. They also have a little girl who's 3, Nairay and a 1 year old named Elijah. They are soo cute. Elijah wasn't feeling well so he was hesitant to get to know me but Nairay is full of energy and spunk and talks about a mile a minute so I got to hear all about how she's going to feed the new baby and about pre-school. They were fun. 

But once they finally headed to bed we brought out a game called Ticket To Ride  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ticket_to_Ride_(board_game) Just check out the link to find out more and if anyone is thinking about buying me something this game kicks it! Anyways, we got to have "adult" conversation once we started playing. I asked about the church and some of the logistics...like since their Mennonite Brethren what that means pertaining to women in ministry, alcohol, theology. All the fun stuff. Then I finally just got down to it and was like so if I wanted to come on board what would you want me to do. And I seriously think I took Sam off guard. I don't think they realized that I really do want to join the ministry at their church, The Grove. So, we talked about what options I had in ministry...which is almost everything. They even invited me to a woman's conference they're having next weekend which unfortunately I won't be able to go to but I thought it was sweet that they invited me. Of course, they told me to keep praying about it and that they'd love for me to join them but it was my decision. I am definitely going to continue praying about it but I can't deny this strong urge to go there. 

And then today I am leaving for Bakersfield to attend a conference with InterVarsity. It's our winter conference. We have three different tracks; your identity in Jesus, leadership, and justice. I've actually never been to winter con. but thankfully I'm a senior and my staff said I could go to leadership. I really wanted to go to the justice track of course but leadership would have been my 2nd choice. It should be good and I'm expecting some good words from God. Despite being really excited about The Grove I'm also really scared because if I decide to commit to this church that means I won't be going home all the time and I know that not only will my mom be sad when I don't come home for weeks at a time but Rosie (and my other really good friends) will be sad too. Especially since Rosie is supposed to be leaving by April for Bulgaria and she'll be gone for 2 years! So, I feel like I have to take that into consideration too. Prayers are appreciated.

Have a great weekend everybody and I'll let you all know how the conference went when I get back!!

Blessings