beth0329

Idol Eyes Mandisa's autobiography 235 pages

And I am not writing over in blogspot and will no longer be writing here. So, feel free to go check me out at http://beth0329.blogspot.com/

Shalom

Just wanted to write down the book that I just finished yesterday (at the very very boring 4 hour shift at the firework's booth).

Lord save us from your followers by Dan Merchant 216 pages

This was a really great book. Dan traveled across the country wearing a jumpsuit that had different bumperstickers all over it, with varying religious ideas from super conservative (God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve) to super liberal (Sorry I missed church I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian). And he asked folks that would come up to him 1 main question; Why is the Gospel of Love dividing America?

Dan is  a Christian and the premise of the book is to have dialogue. So, the jumpsuit was just a really great way to open up the door to talk about the deeper issues that a lot of Christians aren't talking about or willing to talk about, instead they just slap bumperstickers onto their cars and say that's what I believe; no ifs, ands or buts about it. There's also a DVD documentary that I haven't watched yet but I'll definitely write more once I watch it.



Unfortunately there's no full body pictures on-line but you get the gist of the outfit.


Blessings y'all.

I just finished up another book...and it's fiction! If you haven't noticed I just don't read a lot of fiction. But here it is;

The Soloist by Mark Salzman 284 pages

It's about a prodigy who plays the cello as a child but once he grows up and his cello teacher dies his amazing talent diminishes because he can't play perfectly, with perfect intonation, perfect clarity etc. He ends up beginning to teach a young Chinese boy while also being put on a jury for a murder trial. So, it's interesting getting to know this guy through this interactions with the boy and his being on a jury. And I guess there's a movie out now based on the book so we'll see how they do the film

2 down, 7 more to go. Nate and Esther are in their new place in the neighborhood. I don't want to go.

I finished a book last week. Angry conversations with God Really good book. Funny but real. She takes God to marriage counseling because everybody keeps telling her that she may be single but she's married to God and she's angry with him...so it's time for counseling. Must read!

She also shared a passage that I really really like:

Though The fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength, He makes me feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to go on the heights. Hab. 3.17-19

242 pages.

It's the end of 5 years of college. School is over. Supposedly I have achieved my B.A. but I've decided not to say I've graduated until it's completely official and I have some important piece of paper saying so in my hands. That's all I'd like to say about that.

And now that school is out I am going to be a pretty busy lady. But, I am glad about that. Busy-ness keeps me out of trouble. Of course, P.H is still going on. Our last day is June 15th so I am going to continue to volunteer at the PCC until then, for sure. So, that'll be Mondays, 2-5pm and Fridays, 7.45-11am and then I think I'm going to serve at ESA twice a week, instead of just once a week, so I'll keep coming Wednesdays and then I think I'll start coming on Thursdays too. That'll leave Monday mornings free, Tuesdays till 6 which is PH meeting time and Friday afternoons. I think that's pretty fair. And it's only another 3 weeks. Crazy that PH is almost over. I am really going to miss this house and living with these people. But, no reminiscing yet. It's not over.

I just finished another book.

Impulse by Ellen Hopkins 666 pages

This book was really good. It's from the same gal that wrote the other two books that I've read. This one is similar to the others in that it's also written in poetry form and it's really neat because it takes 3 people who end up at a psychiatric hospital because they all try to commit suicide in various ways and how they're lives intersect. It's really neat. I liked it.

I am really hoping to get a lot of reading done this summer, but I know I am going to be busy so I don't know why'd I have more time now to read...but we'll see. i am going to try.

Ok, it's bed time.

Blessings

Specials by Scott Westerfeld 372 pages

Totally wasn't expecting this ending. But I really hope he decided to butcher a trilogy and write a 4th book. He completely left it open to do so!

I got another book done. I didn't realize it but Crank was just the first book in a type of series. The writer, Ellen Hopkins is writing from her experiences as a mother of a girl who gets into meth so the book I just finished is more of the story and I'm assuming that the 2 other books written by her are probably along the same lines.

Glass by Ellen Hopkins 681 pages

Lots of stuff has been going on but I don't really know where to start. And I find that I get into funks where I just don't want to have to type it all out. But, let's see. School is slowly coming to an end. We have the rest of this week, next week is dead days and then finals. Kinda crazy. I'm also doing some research into either getting my EMT license this summer or becoming a nurse's aid. I looked into Shasta College (Redding) and both classes are full but I could get onto the waiting list but that seems risky. Next I am going to look into Fresno City College and Modesto JC. And I guess whichever one has openings is where I'll be staying for the summer. But, I just have this inkling that no matter what I'll probably end up back in Modesto...but I would love to go with some certainty of a job. But, we'll see what happens. I've really just decided to let God handle it, He knows what He's doing...Thank Him!

I'm also planning a graduation party at the end of the month. Instead of walking the stage I'm just going to have a get together at my church in Modesto. It'll be from 2-4 on a Saturday so I'm just going to have appetizers and dessert and people can come and go as they please. Nothing formal or anything.

It doesn't look like my dad is coming, although he still hasn't admitted that to me so I'm still holding out some hope. I don't know if I've written all about that, but I don't think I have. Right after Easter my uncle and I talked and he told me that he was going to be the only one who was going to be coming to my grad party. I talked to my dad a few times since then and he hasn't even mentioned the party so I'll be sending him an invitation and we'll see if he talks to me about it. But the Wed. after talking to my uncle I got a good word at my church in Modesto. I won't write down all the details, but I will share the verse that impacted me so:

Isaiah 36.41
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I am going to love my dad until I can't love him anymore, then God will renew my love for him and I will love him even more. On my own strength I can't love my dad. He's let me down many many times. He's continually pushed me out of his life...but God desires soo much more for our relationship and I am excited about the ways God is going to grow me and my dad and I through this. Amen!

Alright, Pink House meeting tonight...on Immigration! 

Blessings!

Two more books down...

Pretties 370 pages by Scott Westerfeld

I'm normally not into trilogies or sequels or any of that but this book and Uglies have both been the kind of read you don't want to sit down. I haven't read fiction like this in awhile. Next will be Specials and as far as I know it's over at that point. I hope to get that one in the next couple of days.

Jesus & the hip-hop prophets; spiritual insights from Lauryn Hill and 2pac 116 pages by John Teter & Alex Gee

Short little book but inspiring and perfect timing since I'm taking a history of hip-hop and we had a section about spirituality and hip-hop. Good stuff.

Blessings!



 

I got 2...yes, 2! books read over the weekend! I am so impressed with myself. I LOVE the train! That's how I was able to get so much reading done. It's great to not have to drive yourself or be a passenger, with all the added stress of having to keep them awake and all that jazz, instead I can just stretch out and read! Love it. So, here they are in all their glory...

Love is an orientation by Andrew Marin 201 pages
This book was really good! But I hate deciding what to say about the book and how much to tell, but 1 sentence really strikes me as kind of the epitome of the book, "It is the Holy Spirit's job to convict, God's job to judge and my job to love." - Billy Graham said this at a rally in support of President Bill Clinton, when a reporter asked Graham why he was there supporting this man after all he did to our country. I had heard that quote before but it really struck me while reading this book. It's simply not our job to judge anyone, that is all God's doing and I certainly don't want to take over His job.

Another thing that I wanted to comment about, especially since in one of my latest blogs my friend commented about the infamous "love the sinner, hate the sin" idea. And Andrew actually has a section in the beginning of the book about that specific saying. Marin says, "Among gays and lesbians, "love the sinner, hate the sin" is the most disdained phrase in the Christian vocabulary. If behavior equals identity, then hating gay sexual behavior is the same thing as hating the gay person...this logic has earned Christians a reputation for being extremely hypocritical and unrightfully judgmental...Clever catch phrases that try to make Christianity accessible to the masses don't translate to all different populations. As soon as we drop the notion of loving the sinner and hating the sin, the pressure is then off of us to drag a GLBT person from their current 'corrupted state' to our 'holy state,' just as the pressure is off of the GLBT person to continually build up their defenses to try to guard against the slogans that hurt them time and again" (46-47). I apologize if I've ever used this slogan as a token, Christian catch phrase.
There was so much stuff in this book that was good but perhaps I'll go into more later. Highly recommend all folks to read it!


Crank by Ellen Hopkins 537 pages

My pastor's daughter passed me this book. Very good. It's written in poetic form so it took a few pages to catch on to the rhythm but I really enjoyed it. Beautifully written and really gave me some insight into what this drug can do, in such a short amount of time. Powerful. She's also written several other books on similar subjects that I hope to read sometime soon.

And now I am nursing a very painful lower back that I believe was caused by a 4 hour long bike ride from Redding to Modesto, plus several other long rides throughout the weekend at Jubilee in Nor Cal. I was able to see my chiropractor this morning, he said, and a I quote, "You look like shit." I seriously did too. I was about to cry I hurt so bad and he's now wanting to see me tomorrow too. So, I hope the pain subsides soon.

Alright, time for me to get off here and into bed so I can keep reading my newest library book, Pretties, the next book after Uglies, the book that I already read.

Blessings y'all!

I finished up some books in the last couple of weeks, here they are...

Uglies 425 pages
This is a great fiction book. I haven't read many fiction books this year so far, if any. The premise of the book is about a world in the future that are born ugly. And on your 16th birthday party you turn pretty. But when the lead character loses her best friend when he turns pretty and moves to New Pretty Town she meets a new friend, who isn't sure she really wants to turn pretty. It's a must-read!

The furious longing of God 136 pages
I was given this amazing book for my birthday. It's written by Brennan Manning who has written some other really great books that I've read, like Ragamuffin Gospel. It is all about how much God loves His children, specifically me. Must read for anyone who has ever doubted how much God loves them.

Holy Fools 198 pages
Amazing book!!! Totally my kind of book. I actually filled up several of my journal pages with quotes that I liked and wanted to remember because I just got this book from the library. I got a Borders card for my birthday and I think I'm going to buy this book. There's a little tag line on the book and it says, "A spiritual jolt for when your respectable faith becomes deadly dull."

Feelin good about gettin through so many books! I'm working on several now and one is almost done.

Blessings!

It has been the most beautiful day! The weather was just perfect. Nice and sunny but still perfectly windy. The kind of weather that makes you just want to walk everywhere and enjoy it to the fullest. So, that's what Amy and I tried to do. We left around 10am. We dropped off the bread from Panera's that we picked up last night at the World Impact Center and then dropped off a letter to the post office. We went to the movie theater and pre-purchased our tickets for "He's not that into you" then headed off for pizza at Me N' Eds! Sooo good.

After lunch we headed back to RiverPark, which is a big shopping center in North Fresno, with all sorts of shops, book stores, restaurants and our theater. We stopped at Target first to get some goodies for the movie because the theater rips you off then Amy wanted to go to Claire's (a jewelry store). We had actually been there before together. I've always liked the store but lately I've really been addicted, thankfully I came out with only 1 thing and I just couldn't resist. They're turtle earrings!

Then we headed across the street to Victoria's Secret in hopes of getting some lotion for Amy but we're too indecisive so we finally left there and headed to the movie. "He's not that into you" was soo good. More substance than I thought it would have.


This trailer is a good look at what the movie was about. I may have been off put by it had I known so many well-known actor(ess) were going to be in it but they did a great job. It's that kind of movie where they tell different people's lives stories but they actually are all joined in some way. Love it! It prompted some good conversation between Amy and I, although we both want a man like Justin Long!

After the movie we headed over to Old Navy for flip flops and then to Food Maxx for grocery shopping. We got the stuff to make Rice Krispy treats for the kids in Amy's class at church. So, first we dropped off food at my place and then went to make the treats at Amy's..got distracted with music and then headed off for AppleBee's for appetizers and drinks. Amy hasn't drank as much liquor as she has since being my friend...the first time I can say I've truly been a bad influence :) hehe. She got a long island iced tea, which was a really bad choice for someone who, like me, doesn't really like the taste of alcohol. That thing was like 95% alcohol and perhaps 5% strawberry flavor so she felt really weird after drinking it. Not impaired in judgment maybe but just didn't feel like she could concentrate her eyes on anything. But, I got what I got last time she and I went...a Jamaica Freeze...so delicious! Coconut rum and melon liqueur. Mmmm.

And now I'm finally home! Although it's only 10.30 but it's been quite a long, full day so I'm ready to get in the shower and then into bed with a good book...

Speaking about books, I finished another one. I actually finished it a couple weeks ago but wanted to talk a little bit about it.

Porn Nation. 207 pages
It was a very interesting and enlightening read. I guess it was written in a Christian perspective but it's not like he throws God in your face, instead he just tells his own experience in the context of his own faith.
Some of the more interesting quotes that caught my eye were on the statistics. "The average age of first exposure to commericial pornography is somewhere between 11 and 14. But with one in four children in nursery school (ages 3, 4, and 5) going online, that average age is sure to drop" (Leahy, 114). And over 80% of teens age 15 to 17 have had multiple exposure to hard-core pornography. And something that probably should shock me, but definitely leaves a horribly bad taste in my mouth and definitely in my mind is that there is approximately (and probably more since the publishing of this book in 2008) 14,000 sexual images and messages that appear yearly on our television. I truly don't know if I can ever have a TV in my home once I have children and I hate the fact that I know some of the shows that I watch, when I actually watch TV are unmistakably one of the 14,000 sexual images and message that I see.
I also found it interesting that in a section of the book that Leahy titled "Growing up in Porn Nation" he says that, "adolescents are aggressively redefining what sex and intimacy are. One area that clearly illustrates this "shift" of the line of sexual normalcy is oral sex. For example, with more than half of 15 to 19 year-olds reporting they're having oral sex, the study reported teens viewing it so casually they feel it needn't even occur within the confines of a relationship" (123) Are you kidding me?!?! Oral sex is no longer a sexual activity?
One statement that Leahy found that helped him to think about while dealing with his addiction to porn (and probably a continuing source to look back on) is, "What you feed grows, and what you starve dies." We've all lied. And once you lie (and want that lie to continue) you must feed it. Most likely you have to cover that lie with another and another. But, if you stop lying, stop feeding that lie and starve it, then the lie dies. He uses this same analogy with a sexual addiction. If you continue to feed that addiction, look at porn, masturbate, lust after others, etc then that need grows and grows but if you abstain from those things that feed that desire then it will die.
This book was really good. And I am proud of this man for stepping out and being vulnerable and transparent enough to write this. Thanks Michael Leahy.

Oh, and about my role play. It went really well. The lady who "tested" me thought I did well. I felt pretty comfortable but I think I'll feel more comfortable once I shadow someone in the counseling room...and then am observed.

Alright, bed time.

Blessings

Wow, this weekend was incredible. I am not going to delve too deeply into it tonight but I do want to jot down the main point.

Imagine coming to a fork in the road, there's a sign and to the left is TRUSTING GOD and to the right is PLEASING GOD. You decide that pleasing God sounds soo much better than just trusting God, because of course you want to make Him happy. As you walk down this path you find yourself at a door. and on the front of the door is a sign that says, STRIVING TO BE ALL GOD WANTS ME TO BE and you think to yourself, 'yes! I want to be all God wants me to be!' and then you notice a sign near the door handle that simply says, EFFORT. So, with all your strength you turn the door knob and enter into a room. You're met by a hostess who welcomes you to the ROOM OF GOOD INTENTIONS and asks you how you're doing. You start to say that you've had a rough last couple of days but before you can finish your sentence she puts her finger to your lips and hands you a mask, as you look around the rest of the room the other people are looking at you, urging you to put on the mask, so with some trepidation you take the mask, put it on and decide to say, 'I'm fine,' soon realizing that life inside this room you WORK ON YOUR SIN TO ACHIEVE AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD but of course this isn't possible, although you try. Every morning you wake with great intentions; today I'm going to read my bible and have quiet time with God, I'm going to clean house and fix a healthy dinner, not get mad at anyone as I drive to school, not get irritated at my friends who are making made choices, etc. but soon you find yourself feeling guilt, disappointment and frustration when you don't end up doing these things and feeling hurt when others are disappointing and frustrating you.

You then remember the other path that you could have taken and you soon leave the room of good intentions and head back to the other path. You walk the TRUSTING GOD path and find yourself standing before another door and this door says LIVING OUT WHO GOD SAYS I AM. That seems much more vague than 'striving to be all God wants me to be' but you know that didn't work for you so you go for the door knob and read HUMILITY. You study the word and it dawns on you that you can't fix your sin, you're a sinner. And you definitely can't hide behind a mask anymore, so with a humble spirit you gently push open the door to find the ROOM OF GRACE. Once again you're met with a hostess and lots of people standing in this room, but they all appear much different, more real somehow. And once again you're asked how you're doing and because you spent so much time in the 'room of good intentions,' right away you say, 'I'm fine,' but instead of an agreeing nod she asks again, 'No, how are you?' Finally you say, 'Okay, no I'm not fine. I am failing in every area of my life. I have too many responsibilities and I am letting everyone around me down. I want to be close to God but it just doesn't seem like anything I do is enough. There, that's how I'm doing. Are you happy?' and you turn to leave but before you do you catch the eyes of the other people in the room and they seem so welcoming and loving and you see the sign on the wall of the room, STANDING WITH GOD, MY SIN IN FRONT OF US, WORKING ON IT TOGETHER and you since God in this room and there's no mask. And you realize this room results in faith, belief and trust in God.

I've decided to live in the ROOM OF GRACE. I'll talk more about what that means in my next post.

I also wanted to share that I finally finished another book.

Pimps, whores and welfare brats
by Star Parker 205 pages.
- This is one of the most conservative autobiographies, or really book, that I've ever read. I read it because Star Parker has been invited by the Pregnancy Care Center to speak to leaders of primarily black churches in Fresno and I am personally inviting pastors to this event and I wanted to know who I was inviting these people to hear from. I mean, her story is pretty impressive it was just hard to sometimes understand where she was coming from. It shall be interesting getting to hear her speak. I'll definitely share more once she comes.

Blessings

Just wanted to quickly jot down the books I've finished this month

My name is Number 4 by Ting Xing Ye 280 pages  Captivating and revealing book about communism and children at that time

I don't want to be crazy by Samantha Schultz 230 pages Interesting book about a young girl suffering from a panic disorder. 

Working on: 
Soul Cravings by Erwin Raphael Manus
The scandal of Evangelical politics by Ronald J. Snider

So, I feel like a complete book loser right now because I've only ready 2 books in a whole month, but the only consolation that I have is the fact that 1. I'm a super busy woman and 2. I seriously have soo many books that I want to read that I have this bad habit of reading 2 or 3 books at one time so when I do have time to read I am juggling 2 books and it takes that much longer to finish them.

But there it is. Also, can someone tell me how to make it so that the book names are in blue and when you put your cursor on them that cool little informational box comes up to tell about it. Thanks

Blessings