beth0329

Good to see you! In many sociology classes that involve discussions of sex-workers (prostitute is considered derogatory and most of my profs won't let us use the word.) we've talked about how many women don't have a choice. A lot of them are runaways etc. and doing what they have to in order to survive. In Sweden (I believe) sex-work is legal and therefore unionized and regulated. The women get tested for STI's (Sexually Transmitted Infections) regularly because it is required and they are also not terrified of the police. I'm not at all saying I agree with sex-work but.. since it obviously isn't going away just because it is illegal I'm thinking that maybe if it were legalized and regulated these women would at least be safer. You've actually met them am I off-base here?

You're not off-base. I think you're right that if it were legalized then it may be more "safe," that doesn't mean that it's right but lots of things that are legal may not be completely right. But, really all I was saying in my post was that I just feel for those woman who are being hurt in their prostitution and who feel as if there's no way out. Even if prostitution were legal I would still feel for those women.

Yeah I understand and agree. It isn't right and it is very sad.

Okay, fine, so I won't leave you a totally mean message, hee hee. But I'll offer some points of contention just to be contrary.

- I don't think it's just non-Christians who are criticizing the pastor; I also thought it was interesting to read some of the comments from Christian folks here:

http://blog.preachingtoday.com/2008/11/embedded_video_from_cnn_video.html

I guess I just think it's pretty bad to use the word "should" or especially "have to" in regards to sex, romance, and intimacy- it creates high expectations that then in turn foster guilt and anxiety and even resentment. And yeah, I think in a lot of ways, it probably is harmless for most people. But I dunno . . . part of it harkens back to outmoded models of sex- lay there and take it, it'll be good for you, for us, don't you love me? The pastor's focusing on couples who, I think, have let their lives become too cluttered, have forgot how wonderful sex is and don't make time for it anymore. And yeah, those people, after a week of sex, might decide to go back to the way it was, no harm done. But what about the couples who don't have it for deeper reasons? I think for them, male or female, it can open up some serious emotional damage to have sex for artificial reasons, even just once, let alone seven times. For these people, it's like you're treating the symptoms of a disease instead of the disease itself. It won't solve anything, and may just make it worse. Hmmmm. I don't know, I think I'm rambling.

- I'm not really upset about the Kirk Cameron thing. In fact, I find it pretty inspiring in terms of strength and sticking to convictions. But on the other hand, I can't get over the stupidity of it. Like, it makes me laugh, even though I know there's nothing wrong with it (though it'd be a problem on a non-Christian set). I guess to me, an actor is supposed to be able to act. It's on par with someone signing on to play a psycho killer and then saying they can't do the murder scenes because it triggers their murder lust. Shouldn't good actors be able to emotionally remove themselves from the scene, to separate their characters and what their characters do from what they do? I don't think anyone was bashing the film; it's just hard for non-Christian folks to not kinda smile and roll their eyes, because where else would you hear this sort of stuff? It's rare, so people think it's newsworthy.

- Where are the homeless encampments? I'm quite sure I am ignoring them, but are they really under my nose and have we driven/walked near them before together?

- I still want to know about this recanting!

I have more, but would you believe I'm 1,000 words over the limit? Here comes another comment . . .

Here's the rest!

- I agree completely about the horribleness of women forced into prostitution in order to survive, especially since it's that much more impossible for them to avoid exploitation and abuse than the women who choose sex work as a positive part of their lives (and therefore are more well-off and able to be selective, not beholden to pimps, and at least somewhat less likely to be into drugs and other abusive behavior). And the thing that kills me most of all is that these women are the ones most in need of kindness and positive treatment by society. But what do we do instead? We write off anybody who has done sex work as immoral, dirty, and wrong, and heaven help them if they don't give it up or want to give it up (because that seems to free up the guilty consciences of those who profess to want to help, who get to say "Ah, fine then, you chose this life, deal with it"). It's the social stigma attached to sex work that only adds to the pain. If your family disowns you and cuts off contact, if you have to hide what you do from friends and strangers and worry that they'll find out and judge you, if the supposed "good guys" of the cops treat you with disdain and even take advantage, if other employers and organizations refuse you because of your past (when it has no bearing on your job ability- I've read two stories of porn stars being fired, and one whose daughter was kicked out of daycare because of her mom's sex work), if prospective boyfriends or girlfriends see you as less than them for what you've done, if the same men you sleep with act as if you're lower than scum for what you do but they are morally perfect, if people tell you you're getting what you deserve/asked for when you're abused or raped (or say things like "how can you rape a prostitute?"), if the eyes of everybody on the street are full of either outright hate, disgust, or pity, if people stop seeing you as a person and instead as a part of 'urban blight', if people tell you you're going to hell, if your fellow prostitutes reinforce these perceptions that it's "us versus them" . . . . well, you lose pretty much all emotional support and feelings of self-worth. Everyone, everywhere, is telling you that you're worthless, and that's when you turn to drugs or alcohol to numb the pain, when you form emotional attachments to the pimps who are often abusive and keep them in that situation, and things spiral down from there. And that's not even taking into consideration the emotional damage from the actual act of sex for pay from which you have to detach yourself.

Wow, that was long. I guess I'm just still mad about Prop K. But yeah. It makes me sad, but even more angry than sad. I really want to start some kind of revolution, get us out of these ridiculous old mindsets.

- And lastly, I'm glad you wrote. Keep doing it!